I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Randomize
