I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
