Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize