I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im six kinds of drunk right now
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
