Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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