they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
