you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
