This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
