fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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