i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And then my night got REAL pukey
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
