pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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