Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize