How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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