my sisters under your porch take her home
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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