my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
