it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
