i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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