it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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