my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
