Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
