Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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