Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize