I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
