I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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