so explain again why im purple
no
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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