oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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