I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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