I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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