i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
