Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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