something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize