I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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