she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
