my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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