He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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