sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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