Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize