No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
