Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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