I think i sorta joined a cult last night
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
