just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
