sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just gift wrapped bread.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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