Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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