i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Randomize
