Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
