chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize
