Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
