"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
