Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
