on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
