I hope mine doesn't look like that
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
