He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
