just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
