At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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