just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize