Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
