The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
