I am puke
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
