sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
