Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
