i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
