U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
