on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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