I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
