For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
