I cut my penus on the lid.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize